Not all elderly parents are open to care. Whether in-home or in an assisted living facility, elderly parents may feel they are being treated like a child and losing their independence. When this issue arises, it can make caring for an elderly parent even more challenging. To better help you cope with this issue, you need to understand reasons why parents are often resistant to care and strategies you can use to encourage their cooperation.
Understand the Reasons for Resistance
Depending on the reason you parent requires care from a home health nurse or other caregiver, he or she may have a variety of different feelings and concerns. Elderly people often need care for physical loss, dementia, or the inability to provide their own daily care. This leaves them feeling vulnerable and scared, especially if stranger is coming into the home to provide the care instead of a family member. If you loved one is suffering from dementia, he or she may not understand why they need care.
Discuss Necessary Care
Your parent may be less resistant to care if they are part of the planning process. Discuss with him or her care you feel is needed and let your parent voice concerns. Your parent can contribute to planning process by letting you know if they'd feel more comfortable with a certain home health care agency, a male of female nurse, and if they'd rather remain in the home or stay at a care facility.
Discussing care options may not be easy with a loved one who is suffering from dementia. He or she may not understand, so you need to talk to them at a time when they are relaxed, and make sure your explanations the decisions that need to be made in a simple manner.
While you may not be able to give in to all your parent's wishes, you should try to do what you can to help them feel more comfortable with any plans you do make by explaining your decisions.
Coax Them to Embrace It
You can try a few different ways to coax your loved one into receiving the care he or she needs.
- Talk positively about the care and caregiver
- Suggest your parent try it your way for a couple of weeks first
- Discuss your needs with your parent, so he or she understands why you are bringing someone else in
- Explain that accepting a home health nurse actually allows them more independence than a care facility
- Don't argue with your parent. You have to choose which battles are worth fighting and avoid focusing on minor issues.
If you've tried and failed to get your loved one to accept home care, you may need to have the home health care nurse come in and talk with your parent, or you can have your parent's doctor discuss why he or she needs the extra help. You can find such assistance through resources such as First In Care Home Health Agency Inc.
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